Losing Virginity « Result #1 on Mar 14, 2009, 2:46am »
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiance thinks I'm a virgin & I'm not! Is there anything you can do to help me?"
The doctor says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try. On the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."
The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man.
Things begin to progress - her hubby "slips it in" and just then she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks, "What the heck was that?"
The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity snapping."
The husband cries out, "Well snap it again, it's got my balls!"
Stirring On Mars « Result #2 on Mar 14, 2009, 2:46am »
The US finally sent the first manned space mission to Mars. The spacecraft gently touched down and the astronaut descended and tested the atmosphere. Low and behold it was safe for people to breathe. He removed his space suit and exited the spacecraft. He was amazed to find himself in a lush green valley surrounded with beautiful wooded hills. He hiked for some distance and came upon a beautiful little white cottage with a lush green lawn surrounded by a white picket fence like something out of Better Homes and Gardens. He walked up to the front door and found it open. He walked inside, looked around and hearing noises from the kitchen, he went back there. WOW, to his amazement he saw the most beautiful blonde he had ever seen standing over a large pot on the stove. Inside the pot was a gooey mess that she was stirring with a large sthingy. As he watched she kept stirring and stirring.
After a couple hours he finally asked her what she was doing. She replied that she was having a baby. He was quite skeptical but after a couple more hours of stirring she reached down into the gooey mess and pulled out a beautiful baby girl. He told her that was really amazing but that was not the way it was done on Earth.
She asked, "How do you do it on Earth?"
With a twinkle in his eyes he said come on back to the bedroom and I'll show you. After an hour of the wildest sex he had ever experienced he lay back exhausted and lit up a cigarette.
A Christmas Poem « Result #3 on Mar 14, 2009, 2:46am »
Silent night Holy night Snowfall on this Christmas sight Love all around As we sing our Christmas cheer Sit around the tree Hands held high As the wind whispers a gentle Christmas sigh Gentle twinkling scattered about it¡¯s branches Snow gently falls We lift our faces to the sky Faces shine in a rosy glow Around and around we go Spinning twirling swirling in the snow The world is at peace tonight As love glows in a romantic¡¯s eye Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Forget all the world Be at peace tonight Let the warmth of the time fill you Snow fall covers all Have a happy Christmas all
Brains Change Result « Result #4 on Mar 14, 2009, 2:46am »
Three women are out shopping at an antique shop. They stumble upon an unusual lamp. A voice heard from a genie within the lamp begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.
Now one of the women just doesn't believe it, and says: "Ok, if you can really grant wishes, than double my I.Q." The genie says: "Done." Suddenly, the woman starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analysing it with extreme insight.
The second woman is so amazed she says to the genie : "Triple my I.Q." The genie says: "Done." The woman starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.
The last woman is so enthralled with the changes in her friends, that she says to the genie: "Quintiple my I.Q." The genie looks at her and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider." The woman says: "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free." "Please," says the genie "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else...a million dollars, anything?" But no matter what the genie said, the woman insisted on having her I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power. So the genie sighed and said: "Done."
Having a ready-formed plan « Result #5 on Feb 26, 2009, 11:09pm »
there was once an artist whose name was Wen Tong. He was famous for his bamboo drawings.wow power leveling, A lot of people asked him for one of his bamboo drawings.
People wondered why Wen Tong could draw so well. Actually, Wen Tong loved bamboo so much he had grown various bamboo around his house. No matter what season it was and no matter whether it was sunny or rainy,wow power leveling, he used to go to the bamboo forest to observe how they were growing.
He carefully observed the length and breadth of the bamboo poles as well as the shapes and colors of the leaves. Whenever he found something new, he went back to his study and drew what was in his mind on paper. wow power leveling,After a long time, the images of the bamboo in different seasons, under different weather conditions and at different moments were deeply imprinted in his mind. Whenever he stood before the paper and picked up a painting brush,wow gold, various forms of bamboo came into his mind at once. So, every time he was drawing bamboo he appeared confident and at ease. All the bamboo he drew looked like real.
When people spoke highly of his paintings,wow gold,he always said modestly that he had just put the images of the bamboo imprinted in his mind in the paper.
the phrase "having the images of bamboo ready in one's bosom" means having plans or designs ready in one's mind before doing a certain job so that its success is guaranteed. wow gold,It also means being calm and sober-minded in dealing with things.
Watching Me Go « Result #6 on Feb 26, 2009, 11:08pm »
The crayoned picture shows a first-grade boy with shoebox arms, stovepipe legs and tears squirting like melon seeds.wow power leveling, The carefully printed caption reads, "I am so sad." It is my son Brendan's drawing-journal entry for September 19. Brendan cried his first day of school, dissolving at his classroom door like a human bouillon cube. wow power leveling,The classroom jiggled with small faces, wet-combed hair, white Nikes and new backpacks. Something furry scuttled around in a big wire cage. Garden flowers rested on Mrs. Phillips's desk. Mrs. Phillips has halo status at our school. She is a kind, soft-spoken master of the six-year-old mind. But even she could not coax Brendan to a seat. Most kids sat eagerly awaiting thingy and Jane and two plus two. Not my Brendan. His eyes streamed, his nose ran and he clung to me like a snail on a strawberry. I plucked him off and escaped. It wasn't that Brendan didn't like school. He was the kid at the preschool Christmas concert who knew everyone's part and who performed "Jingle Bells" with operatic passion. Brendan just didn't like being apart from me. wow power leveling,We'd had some good times, he and I, in those preschool years. We played at the pool. We skated on quiet morning ice. We sampled half the treat tray at weekly neighbourhood coffee parties. Our time together wasn't exactly material for a picture book, but it was time together. And time moves differently for a child. Now in Grade 1, Brendan was faced with five hours of wondering what I was doing with my day. wow gold,Brendan always came home for lunch, the only one of his class not to eat at his desk. But once home, fed and hugged, a far-away look of longing would crease his gentle brow--he wanted to go back to school to play! So I walked him back, waited with him until he spotted someone he knew, then left. He told me once that he watched me until he couldn't see me anymore, so I always walked fast and never looked back. One day when I took Brendan back after lunch, he spied a friend, kissed me goodbye, and scampered right off. I went, feeling pleased for him, celebrating his new independence, his entry into the first-grade social loop. And I felt pleased for myself, a sense of well-being and accomplishment that I, too, had entered the mystic circle of parents whose children separated easily.
Then--I don't know why--I glanced back. And there he was.wow gold, The playground buzzed all around him, kids everywhere, and he stood, his chin tucked close, his body held small, his face intent but not sad, blowing me kisses. So brave, so unashamed, so completely loving, Brendan was watching me go.
No book on mothering could have prepared me for that quick, raw glimpse into my child's soul. My mind leaped 15 years ahead to him packing boxes and his dog grown old and him saying, "Dry up, Mom. It's not like I'm leaving the country." In my mind I tore up the card every mother signs saying she'll let her child go when he's ready. I looked
at my Brendan, wow gold,his shirt tucked in, every button done up, his toes just turned in a bit, and I though, "OK, you're six for me forever. Just try to grow up, I dare you." With a smile I had to really dig for, I blew him a kiss, turned and walked away.
We provide professionalwow power leveling « Result #7 on Mar 22, 2008, 4:41am »
Power leveling on World of Warcraft or power leveling for FFXI. ...wow power leveling We provide professional world of warcraft powerleveling,cheap wow gold service. ...
Cheap Wow Powerleveling ,is also an active group being made up of vastly dedicated and highly experienced staffs.wow power leveling, ... They are able to provide a power leveling wow service at first time when itwow power leveling, came out. Such as the Burning Crusade comes, we provide a cheap wow power ... Look here to Buy World Of Warcraft Power Leveling,less than wow power leveling,14USD/day,Cheap WOW Gold,Wow powerlevel,powerleveling wow, A World of Warcraft Leveling Guide can actually enhance your online gaming experience. Once you get past your 10 day free wow trial and start to pay for the ... wow power levelingWarcraft power leveling,Honor Rank ... j2b4q4mu
We provide professionalwow power leveling « Result #8 on Mar 22, 2008, 4:40am »
Power leveling on World of Warcraft or power leveling for FFXI. ...wow power leveling We provide professional world of warcraft powerleveling,cheap wow gold service. ...
Cheap Wow Powerleveling ,is also an active group being made up of vastly dedicated and highly experienced staffs.wow power leveling, ... They are able to provide a power leveling wow service at first time when itwow power leveling, came out. Such as the Burning Crusade comes, we provide a cheap wow power ... Look here to Buy World Of Warcraft Power Leveling,less than wow power leveling,14USD/day,Cheap WOW Gold,Wow powerlevel,powerleveling wow, A World of Warcraft Leveling Guide can actually enhance your online gaming experience. Once you get past your 10 day free wow trial and start to pay for the ... wow power levelingWarcraft power leveling,Honor Rank ... n2m4w4ze
Wow Gold on Sale with Fast Instant « Result #9 on Mar 22, 2008, 1:33am »
Looking to buy WOW Gold, Items or Accounts? We strive to offer theWoW Gold, fastest and most reliable service on the web for all your gaming needs. Welcome to mmogcart.com, our professional online shop of cheap wow gold! We guaranteed to you the fastest delivery andwow gold, the lowest selling price of wow gold ... Get bored farming wow gold yourself? Need to buy WoW gold urgently ? Have it a try here! We provide cheap wow gold and excellent powerleveling serice! Get bored farming wow gold yourself? Need to buy WoW gold urgently ?wow gold, Have it a try here! We provide cheap wow gold and excellent powerleveling serice! Look here to Buy Cheap World of Warcraft Gold, Power Leveling, WoW Gold, Accounts, Guides & Items on wow goldSale with Fast Instant Delivery! Play as a VIP now! Wow Gold Store Welcome you! Look here to Buy WoW Gold,wow gold, Cheap WoW Gold, Buy cheap world of warcraft gold, Power Leveling, Wow Gold on Sale with Fast Instant ... j9a5i7rc
Wow Gold on Sale with Fast Instant « Result #10 on Mar 22, 2008, 1:33am »
Looking to buy WOW Gold, Items or Accounts? We strive to offer theWoW Gold, fastest and most reliable service on the web for all your gaming needs. Welcome to mmogcart.com, our professional online shop of cheap wow gold! We guaranteed to you the fastest delivery andwow gold, the lowest selling price of wow gold ... Get bored farming wow gold yourself? Need to buy WoW gold urgently ? Have it a try here! We provide cheap wow gold and excellent powerleveling serice! Get bored farming wow gold yourself? Need to buy WoW gold urgently ?wow gold, Have it a try here! We provide cheap wow gold and excellent powerleveling serice! Look here to Buy Cheap World of Warcraft Gold, Power Leveling, WoW Gold, Accounts, Guides & Items on wow goldSale with Fast Instant Delivery! Play as a VIP now! Wow Gold Store Welcome you! Look here to Buy WoW Gold,wow gold, Cheap WoW Gold, Buy cheap world of warcraft gold, Power Leveling, Wow Gold on Sale with Fast Instant ... v9k5w7fl
![[Home]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/home.gif)
![[Help]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/help.gif)
![[Search]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/search.gif)
![[Login]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/login.gif)
![[Register]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/menu/register.gif)
![[Search This Thread]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/search2.gif)
![[Reply]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/reply.gif)
![[Send Topic To Friend]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/sendtopic.gif)
![[Print]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/print.gif)
Author
![[Quote]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/quote.gif)
Logged